ramblings

It's a very frustrating feeling, when your field of study no longer stimulates you.

I mean, the type of stimulation that makes you excited to go to class, or to one particular class.

I feel as though there are certain things about journalism - and only certain things - that I don't think I will ever be able to enjoy.

For instance, I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy writing about politics. I know it's important, and I've covered small-town politics in Ottawa and outside when I worked with the EMC, but I can't fathom doing investigative stories about some of the crooks that run our country. Not because it's not important: someone has to cover those and inform the public (as we've repeatedly been told 'that is your job as a journalist'), but I want to write when it doesn't feel as though it's a chore to get information. Maybe I'm just an odd journalist with different desires than most?

I want to write about the environment, and in that sense I think I could enjoy covering some politics - like the tar sands in Alberta, and what the provincial government is or isn't doing. Or about how much pollution coastal provinces let flow into our Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, or about Fish Farms, or earthquake preparedness, or animal protection, or hiking. Some of these could have some relation to politics, but not in the same way as some instructors would like it to be.

I've just realized I have contradicted myself, but it's a revelation about politics I suppose.

And I'm waiting so patiently to hear back from Canadian Geographic regarding a student internship I applied for there. Waiting, patiently... and impatiently, and anxiously, and intensely. Honestly, if I managed to get in with that internship I wouldn't know what to say. All I would know is that for once, for ONCE!! my dream of writing about the environment, about geography, could possibly come true. And if I don't get it, I think I'll be crushed. But that is life. Living like a small ant on the ground, hoping that someone doesn't come along and step on you... or if they do, you hope you fall between the grooves in their shoe and don't get squished against the sidewalk.

The worst analogy I think I've come up with yet. Oh, dear. ha.