Small town what?

I never thought that living in a small town would result in all things small town. But, I've been proven wrong. Over the last several weeks I've been checking out the Elk Valley RCMP police reports as posted on The Free Press website, and they have proven to be more small town than I ever anticipated: I mean, country mud, belt-buckle wearing, beer-guzzling, dog-chasing, bizarre police reports.

Here are a few that resulted in my laughing out out loud while at the same time shaking my head.

- In Grasmere at 8:20 p.m. a vehicle hit a deer. There were no injuries but the deer was killed.

- In Fernie on 6th Ave. at 1:08 a.m. there was a report of several males out in the street yelling and screaming.

- In Fernie at 9:52 a.m. a 100 gallon fuel tank was stolen from a cabin on Morrissey Road.

- In Fernie at 3:18 a.m. police helped remove an unwanted guest from the Super 8 motel.

- In Sparwood at 1:29 p.m. a man reported having his cell phone stolen after letting a woman stay the night at his house in Pine Avenue.

- In Hosmer at 1:02 p.m. three gunshots were heard in Dicken Road. Police could find no evidence of firing but noted there were a lot of gophers in that area.

- In Fernie at 3:02 p.m. a hair salon reported a man had been calling them asking for a two-hour facial massage.

- In Elkford at 11:45 p.m. there was a domestic disturbance at Deerborne Drive. A drunk woman was screaming at her husband and the neighbours were shouting to her to be quiet.

- A driver got stuck on a sandbank when he drove into the Elk River to retrieve a pair of antlers.